Fifteen minutes later, Alan walks away without a new set of wheels. But he is impressed. "She's not pushy, like most car salespeople. It's not every day you meet one you want to ask out on a date." Kelly shakes her head. Men!

Next, she sidles up to Christine and Shane, a grungy-looking couple barely out of high school who are eyeing a forest-green Tacoma for "eventual family use."

"Oh, this is a great car," Kelly gushes. "My friend Matthew drives one of these and loves it. I know jack about it, to be honest, but I know it's dependable, because otherwise, Matthew wouldn't have bought it." The two stare at her blankly. "And I have actually been in it," she continues. "It drives smoothly."

Christine asks about the mileage. "Oh, this eats up gas," Kelly says. "If you really want good mileage, you should get a Honda." (Mind you, this is a Toyota dealership.) Shane asks if it has a "big block engine." But Kelly has no idea what that is, so she changes the topic, telling him that the tires, which she kicks, are . . . "great." Then, she emphasizes one of the car's biggest assets: "It's a 2002, and the previous owner took very good care of it, changing the oil all the time. He was an older man." (Of course, none of this is true -- and none of it was authorized by Toyota -- but it does have a nice ring to it, doesn't it?)